Pedro Zamora outside STG3, Mountainview Power Plant
Posted by Scott Collins (Click to Enlarge Photo)
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
"Leadership Philosophy"
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course." Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb shit, it's Tony Blair!"
"Bush Is Saved"
One day there were three boys walking down the street, and suddenly they heard cries for help. When the boys got to the noise they saw George Bush in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bush asked the boys how he could ever repay them. The first boy said, "I want a boat." The second boy said, "I want a truck." And the third boy said, "I want three tombstones with our names all on them." Bush asked, "Why is that, son?" The little boy said, "Because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!"
"Electrical Blonde"
A blonde walks in to a store she asks the salesman "How much for the T.V?" The sales person says "Madam we don't sell to blondes." The next day she colors her hair black then she goes back into the store and she asks again "How much for that T.V?" The sales man says "Madam we don't sell to blondes!" Upset her plan didn't work she "How do you know I'm a blonde?" The salesman replied " It's not a T.V. it's a microwave!"
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Electric Chair
A joke about three men going to the chair.
A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first."Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner,strapping him in."No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released. Then the biologist was brought forward."Do you have anything you want to say?""No, just get on with it."The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.Then the electrical engineer was brought forward."Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner."Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over,you might make this thing work."
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Santa?
Santa? That's an interesting suggestion in your comment below. I did some research into the matter and the first clue is that his hard hat says James Brook. Next I tried logic. Why would Santa pose as an electrician, especially during this time of year?
Posted by Scott Collins (Click to Enlarge Photo)
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Next, I googled Santa to try and compare actual photos of Santa to our "Santa", however, as you will see, Santa never seems to take the same photograph twice. It's almost as if there is more than one, which suggests that maybe there is no Santa at all, but I had to remind myself that Jesus never takes the same picture twice and he exists so I had to shelve that theory.
Posted by Scott Collins (Click to Enlarge Photo)
I then remembered that Santa is a jolly fellow whose belly jiggles like a bowl full of cherry's, but James doesn't look so jolly, and if jiggling belly's is any indication, then I must be Santa. In this painting Santa doesn't look all that jolly, probably because he's freezing his nuts off and that reindeer probably doesn't smell all that keen.
So there doesn't seem to be any way to prove one way or another that James and Santa are one and the same and if that's the case here is my suggestion: Don't take any chances. Be nice to James or you may not go to Heaven... wait, that's the other guy, I meant, you may not get any presents this year. Why risk a lump of coal or roasting in hell... wait, I'm getting mixed up again, anyway, you know what I mean.
Posted by Scott Collins (Click to Enlarge Photo)
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